The Sonoran Desert is not for sissies. From violent rainstorms to weird animals to harsh environments, we live among a cornucopia of dangers. The best way to survive here is to use some common sense and carry a large water bottle. Apparently this is asking too much of some folks. Sometimes there are laws to protect/punish morons, sometimes there are not.
Here are #5StupidThingsPeopleDothat make headlines/end up in court in the Sonoran Desert.
- Stupid Motorists.Over the weekend a guy came across a flooded bit of road that was barricaded to prevent cars from driving through. He decided it was too much trouble to take the detour and drove around the barricades and straight into the water racing over the road. And got stuck. And then called 911 to summon help from the very people who put up the barricade. He is being charged under Arizona’s Stupid Motorist Act (it’s an AZ thing). He will be charged a fine and also must pay for the emergency services that pulled him to safety.
- Stupid Selfies. Tour guides in the Grand Canyon warn visitors not to ‘make the Book’. The ‘Book’ is updated yearly and lists people who fall to their deaths after getting too close to the canyon edge. The number of yearly entries has risen with the advent of the selfie.
- Stupid Animal Lovers. It seems innocent enough to put up a bird feeder in the backyard. We have a wealth of beautiful birds from the tiny hummingbird to the Great Horned Owl. But installing a bird feeder unleashes an avalanche of unwanted guests. The bird seed falls to the ground which attracts rodents…the rodents attract snakes…the snakes attract Owls and Hawks…the Owls and Hawks attract coyotes…and Javelinas who hear about free food and follow the crowd…and the Javelina’s attract Mountain Lions. And before you know it, one of the unwanted guests has eaten your Yorkshire Terrier.
- Stupid Hikers.The Sonoran Desert has two seasons- Perfect and Monsoon. Excessive heat, violent wind, torrential rain and deadly lightening characterize the Monsoon. Why people visit during Monsoon is beyond me but visit they do and once they get here, they insist on hiking. Signs are posted at every trailhead warning of the dangers of hiking in the heat with suggestions that hikers drink one gallon of water per hour…that’s 8 Costco water bottles by the way. Sadly, our local search and rescue teams are busy during Monsoon carting tourists off the mountains on stretchers- victims of dehydration or heat stroke. (There is talk of instituting a charge for this rescue service during inclement weather.) Here’s an insider tip- if the local news station runs a segment where they bake cookies on the sidewalk- it’s too hot to hike.
- Stupid Golfers. During monsoon, the temps can soar to 115 degrees.Which explains why it is so cheap to golf here in the summer. What can’t be explained is why golfers hear thunderstorms approaching and continue to play. And then seek shelter from the torrential rain under a tree. With a 7-iron in their hand. You do the math.
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M.A. Simonettiis the author of the Malibu Mystery Series, which features Alana Fox who is no Spring Chicken. You can read the first chapters to her books and buy them here: https://bit.ly/2bjwfXr