"Interview" with Alana Fox
Alana, please tell the audience what it is that you do.
I’ve lived in Malibu for almost 30 years- all of my adult life. People hire me to establish new social connections. If you are new in town I know the bridge groups, the golfers, the artists and the drinkers. If you are a single woman, I know the men. If you are married, I can get you and yours on the cocktail circuit. I can even find a nanny if you are unfortunate enough to need one. Suffice it to say, if you live in Malibu, have $7500 and are willing to do exactly what I say, I’m your new best friend.
Why would anyone pay for this service? Can’t people make social connections online these days?
They can if they have the time to sift through all the deception. I know who is who in Malibu. I know how where they live, how they make a living and who they are sleeping with. I’ve seen them at their best and I’ve seen them at their worst. And I know how to introduce my clients to the social circles best suited for them. If you think my services are frivolous then you haven’t tried to make new friends after a certain age. Or you have no idea how the world really works.
Describe your perfect client.
First of all, they must be over age 40. I have nothing in common with people who send out social invitations via email and I have no desire to prove myself wrong. Secondly, they must be willing to do everything I tell them. Thirdly, they must be completely honest with me. I’ve run into trouble in the past with deceptive clients and my attorney advises me to be more careful in the future.
You’ve been in legal trouble?
Nothing ever stood up in court.
Are you married?
No. My ex-husband developed an unreasonable desire to have children and left me for Little Miss Tight Buns ten years ago.
It sounds like you don’t like children.
I feel the same way about children as I do a car wreck. I’ll look at it if I happen upon it, but I don’t want one for myself.
How does a prospective client get in touch with you?
The old-fashioned way- by referral. But not to worry, if you are new to Malibu, I’ll know about you. But I won’t bother with you if you are younger than 40. Remember, I don’t like kids.